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Sugar and Grass

June 14, 2024 8:46 pm Published by Leave your thoughts

Why do we think we can barrel through her world and call her stupid as our plastic bumpers crunch into her fur and flesh, how is anything we are doing more important than everything she dreams of? 

Trip to the Bottom

April 20, 2024 10:31 pm Published by

The wind howls, the snow falls, and the world tells me that even though I may not have a home, I must seek shelter. Today, that’s the guest room of a single mother’s gorgeous house in Flagstaff. Tomorrow, a canvas tent on the Colorado Plateau.

Desert Dispatches

January 15, 2024 5:36 am Published by

It feels much better to be up here, not an apex predator, not quite comfortably numb, using all my senses. I stop to crouch and study the sand.

Seven Years of Hank

January 3, 2024 7:44 pm Published by

This week marks seven years of Hank. Highs and lows and tons of in-betweens. He’s been there with me when it felt like it was all over, and when I wished it could last forever. 

Maybe We Deserve Dogs

November 28, 2023 6:01 am Published by

I think about the common human refrain, we don’t deserve dogs. And I largely agree. But then I remember that it doesn’t have to be this way.

See What Sticks

October 31, 2023 6:48 pm Published by

The world we inhabit is quite good at sustaining life but not altogether good at encouraging aliveness.

Game of Fetch

October 2, 2023 10:06 pm Published by

It is so hard to set oneself free from the comforts and fears we know. Maybe it is only when the body reaches terminal velocity that we realize a new haircut or a whole new life would’ve been a lot less scary than the elaborate confines of the mind. 

Sowing Seeds

May 5, 2023 12:24 am Published by

Perhaps what I struggle with the most is finding that freedom. Freedom to be proud of what I’m building, freedom to build what I want to.


September 24, 2022 5:57 pm Published by

That is the ultimate appeal of clickbait headlines about hookers and blow, of Alexander Supertramp lighting his substantial inherited wealth on fire somewhere in the desert. We fantasize about being rockstars, firefighters, farmers, poets. We want to be who we were, before it all changed.

Keeping Vigil

September 15, 2022 7:23 pm Published by

Is the duty of the living to honor the dead, or is it our fate to build new life off the backs of the anonymous billions who have gone before us?

Filtered Through the Finite

June 14, 2022 7:50 pm Published by

There is something about life that feels more beautiful when it is strained through the filter of the finite. Some part of our beings is best at appreciating the good when we know it is running out.

Neighborhood Dogs

February 5, 2022 7:21 pm Published by

Not only are dogs more honest, in time they will tell us everything we need to know about the people they are associated with. Dogs always have a lot to teach us about ourselves. 

Picture Perfect

February 3, 2022 9:11 pm Published by

How many layers of a “picture perfect life” are our true selves buried beneath?  Perhaps the most pervasive question in my confusing life is which version of myself is the realest and where the edge between righteous discontent and selfish ingratitude really is. 

Different Stillness

January 4, 2022 4:51 am Published by

It costs us nothing to dream, it costs us everything to learn that we were dreaming the wrong thing. 

The Weight

September 6, 2021 10:02 pm Published by

Forty years ago, DDT was thinning bald eagle eggs to the point that a mama bird would crush her own brood while trying to incubate them. Finally, a few devout scientists proved this and changed the agricultural chemical industry for the marginally better. If only our mama birds recognized that the weight of their own skewed expectations were crushing us all to death. 

Spilling Blood

July 24, 2021 1:32 am Published by

It is strangely soothing to feel the adrenaline surging towards the wound and to see the inner workings bubbling up to the surface. Perhaps this is the epitome of the conscious living experience, to have a few fleeting moments of heightened awareness where what’s before us is razor-sharp and what’s behind us is gone.


May 10, 2021 4:38 pm Published by

Holding back doesn’t lessen the pain of the loss, but it sure as hell lessens the joy of the having.


April 4, 2021 10:09 pm Published by

We need physicality, need to feel some presence and ownership in the bodies we inhabit. Without it, the mind will run rampant, will run away with itself and constantly try to leave the flesh behind. 

Just Say It

March 30, 2021 4:37 pm Published by

There is no moral high ground, just the ugly work of growing, healing, becoming.

Spring Again

March 27, 2021 4:54 pm Published by

I want my joys to be total, my thirsts quenchable, my fears primal. Compounding interest and the calculated torments of the internet make a hungry wolf sound downright friendly. 

Moving and Staying Still

February 20, 2021 7:15 pm Published by

The most unnatural thing we can do is ignore the calling to draw near and reflect, to suppress the urge to go out and seek, to demand a sameness from our souls that robs them of the very quality which makes them soulful.

Going Nowhere

February 17, 2021 11:19 pm Published by

These times, the only place you have to go is within. The only people you can eavesdrop live within your own mind, and people will tell you that hearing voices makes you crazy.

So hard to live the dream

February 2, 2021 9:50 pm Published by

I can see it all so clearly, it torments me in my sleeping dreams. Slips away when I awake. It is no closer or farther, but duties and doubts don’t have much power in the REM world.

On the Border of Lonely

December 16, 2020 6:58 pm Published by

Where I stand, the world is quiet. Wind whispers through the ocotillos and the mesquite trees, its song through the thorns cooing the memories of love that hurts to remember and hurts to forget. There’s a ghost beside me, the absence of a soul to share these sights with.


October 23, 2020 9:02 pm Published by

We yearn to show our true colors, to display our brightest greens and most vivid yellows, to gracefully grow through the seasons of life for the audience we treasure. Perhaps even to see ourselves become what we are destined to be, to feel pride at who we are. 


September 18, 2020 9:24 pm Published by

And indeed, my flesh is increasingly made of the smoke that our society has created. It is not just routine incense of aspen and pine. It is acrid smoke, spreading across an entire continent, filled with bits of electrical wiring and industrial paint, finer and lighter than ever because the vegetation is so dry.

Depression Headache

August 31, 2020 4:18 am Published by

When I talk to friends, it is via a telephone screen, which physiologically contributes to headaches and psychologically contributes to isolation.

Leery of Contentment

August 12, 2020 11:17 pm Published by

The progress addict is leery of contentment, for it threatens the need to constantly be falling forwards.

You Won’t See Me

July 23, 2020 11:15 pm Published by

Being an expert in solitude has its costs. You play the long game, accustomed to the sense that there is nothing rushing you to act. And then a forceful suitor swoops in, a lease runs out, bills come up due. Day turns to night, and so it does until another year has passed. The world waits for no one.

Taller’n the Grass

May 12, 2020 5:22 pm Published by

Like the rootbound plant which withers when set free, we adapt to the particular habitat that sustains us.


April 22, 2020 5:35 pm Published by

Nostalgia is the truest form of grief. It washes over us with deceptive warm waves of comfort and familiarity, reaching out with open arms to welcome us to the throes of something that never was.

Near Death Experience

March 9, 2020 6:15 pm Published by

The near death experience may be the moment before the fall is halted by the ground, it may be the first tumble when everything is pain and ringing noises and a flash of white light. Or it may be what happens months, or even years, later. It has nothing to do with injuries or lightning strikes or natural gas leaks. The more comfortable we get and the further from our dreams we stray, the nearer to death we truly become.

I Can’t Believe This is Happening to Me

February 24, 2020 7:06 pm Published by

Oftentimes, the reality of life is difficult to believe. Not only is truth stranger than fiction, but there is a noteworthy disconnect between our expectations, our perceptions, and the unflinching march of time.

No Depression

February 4, 2020 6:12 pm Published by

The word ‘depressed’ is ridiculously complicated. Not that any word in any language means just one thing, but few words mean more things than depression. Everything from measurable chemical imbalances to tropical storm systems to underperforming stock markets can lead to depression.

We Live in a Simulation

January 31, 2020 8:29 pm Published by

For all the advancements our society has made, the world still rewards those who can separate their conscience from their actions. Close the deal, shoot the wounded, put profit before people. There is not a visible cosmic arbiter of justice and this means only that one’s ingrained sense of right and wrong is a hindrance in the earthly realm.

Lost in Translation

January 27, 2020 7:39 pm Published by

Ultimately, we are confined to the languages we share with others. The spoken and written languages of the world. The things we trade in. The artistic media that leave everything open to interpretation yet create fleeting bits of solace and solidarity.


January 6, 2020 9:05 pm Published by

Somewhere between January and December, between sunrise and sunset, life turns into a series of processes that can rob the days of their original potential. From the alarm clock to clocking in, the hours tick away marked by a ceaseless process that forces us into line.

A Dearth of Solitude

September 9, 2019 5:40 pm Published by

Without profound solitude, everything else feels frivolous at best. After a while, no distraction is as satisfying as not being distracted.

As Good As It Gets

July 21, 2019 11:48 pm Published by

When someone says “This is as good as it gets,” what connotation does that have for you? What about if they ask, “Is this as good as it gets?”


April 29, 2019 2:00 am Published by

I often notice myself feeling leery of promise because it contains a tremendous amount of kinetic energy. It is why I like to be like a rolling stone, neither gathering moss nor bothered much by the rough and tumble of rolling downhill.


March 10, 2019 8:39 pm Published by

Through the eroding power of time and numbing experiences, these days the inputs have to be somewhat stronger to come through. Connections corrode with time and rust is simply a protective shell for the fresh parts beneath it.


February 19, 2019 8:31 pm Published by

I was that blessed level of empty that only comes from efforts which push us to the brink.

Beneath the Stars

February 1, 2019 8:52 pm Published by

Everyone is so afraid of sharing a spork and sleeping on the ground that they forget to be afraid of what happens when they think themselves above such things.

Spending Time

December 14, 2018 8:46 pm Published by

Spending money you don’t really have on other people feels like a desperate post-capitalistic mating ritual. Spending money you don’t really have on yourself is a perfect reminder of the relative value of currency.

Bumpy Roads

December 2, 2018 7:42 pm Published by

By the time we realize bumps could jolt us back awake after the smoothness becomes dangerously hypnotizing, it is too... View Article


November 15, 2018 6:41 pm Published by

Feeling the seasons change is surreal, because it always brings with it a rushing nostalgia and a helpless terror. The... View Article


November 2, 2018 5:34 pm Published by

Emptiness has a nearly universal negative connotation. It is forced to duke it out with its syntactical opposition ‘half full,’... View Article


October 24, 2018 7:32 pm Published by

My mind flashes back to that ride in the Ozarks, when fast-driving cars plowed through fluttering butterflies, when I stopped... View Article

Where It All Ends

September 26, 2018 3:23 pm Published by

It was hard to imagine two people trying very hard at anything after being paid that much to show up.

Disappearing Act

August 7, 2018 2:20 pm Published by

Life does not ask if you want to see a dead body dredged from a river on your bike ride or if you want to wake up one day and realize that most everyone you thought you might marry someday is now engaged to someone else or if you were ready for another year to be two-thirds over, for everyone you love to be two-thirds a year older, for your checking account to be two-thirds a year emptier. The disappearing act forces you to put your thoughts in a centrifuge in a noise-cancelling vacuum and distill them and listen to them until you are aware just what they are.

A Nightmare is Still a Dream

August 2, 2018 4:09 pm Published by

I do not need distractions or white picket fences. I need to write. I need to push myself to the limits so I have something to say. And I need to read what others have said, that I may remember the vague, gnawing feelings I have all day have names.

Being Alive

July 16, 2018 6:39 pm Published by

Existing is a fickle thing, some combination of biological bare-minimums and feeling profoundly satisfied which ultimately makes us who we... View Article


June 4, 2018 12:59 pm Published by

It might change people if they would stare at roadkill instead of averting their eyes.